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Is high school better the
second time around?
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by Rohn Job
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The more things change the more they blah blah blah. Our journey
through higher education has finally come full circle. Welcome to Seton
High 07102.
It's really irrefutable that law school is nothing more than a
second go-around through high school. Those who would disagree take
themselves way too seriously and should refrain from reading any further.
We all know you'd rather be outlining Tax. So kindly get lost. And don't
come back until you find a sense of humor.
The similarities between these hallowed halls and high school are
endless. Some are funny. Some are disturbing. But most are just downright
pathetic.
How many of you had fun at your senior prom? Good times. Great
memories. Two words why the Barrister's Ball is about seven million times
better: Open Bar. To say nothing of how much Schlitz Ice you can fit in a
hotel-room bathtub.
The cafeteria. A sanctuary for every procrastinating
student. Unless, of course, you're on Law Review, then you probably hang
out in the "nerdery." In high school, a silver-haired firecracker named
Dorothy would serve you an ice cream scoop of mashed potatoes. Her
intoxicating hair net aside, I feel much more comfortable accepting my
sustenance from Ralph and Cliff.
"Study groups" have replaced cliques. Can you imagine how much
lunch money you would have lost if someone found out you had a "study
group" in high school? Hell, I think that my friends from high school
would give me a wedgie now if they heard that term come out of my
mouth.
The cool kids were once identifiable by their letter-jackets. They
would wear their Jerseys on game day. Now they wear suits because of all
of their interviews. You'd think social status was somehow linked to class
rank. Or is it?
Did you ever try and drink in the student lounge in high school?
Hell, did your high school even have a student lounge? To say nothing of
much better we treat our smokers.I haven't seen a single one in detention
yet.
Essentially, you can plagiarize as long as you tell your teacher.
(See Bluebook rules). Although MLA citing was downright glamorous compared
to Blue-booking.
But it's not all smiles and sunshine. Some of it damn
aggravating.
Like Law Broadcasts. Will someone explain to me how this in any
less annoying than the principal reading announcements over the intercom
every morning? Even Hotmail lets you block Spam. I'm about two more away
from ritual suicide.
Should I get started on lockers? Not only are they too small to
fit members of the law review in, but you have to pay for one. But, if we
got rid of them, my biggest fear is a mass proliferation of wheelie bags all
over the joint.
News flash: this is not Hanger C at LaGuardia people. Unless
you're going to set me up with some cheap scotch and a bag of peanuts, buy
a damn book bag already.
And last, but certainly not least, is the Seton High rumor mill.
This thing is more efficient than WWII "Wind-talkers." Don't believe me?
This weekend, run yourself a little experiment. Do something mildly
embarrassing on Friday night (preferably someplace other than the
library).
We're not talking about anything illegal or too irreverent, just
something different. By the time Monday rolls around, rumor will have it
that you knocked off a liquor store and may or may not have contracted
leprosy.
And for the record, if you're not prepared for class, professors
are much more understanding if you have a note from your
therapist.
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Last modified February 2, 2003. |
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